My wife strongly dislikes the smell of my cigar smoking. I generally try to sneak in a smoke in the back yard while she is away at the gym most mornings, and have pretty much perfected a way to remove 99.9% of the smell from my mouth and body (tested and proven effective). Had one today as usual on a somewhat windy day, and finished by about 9:30 am. I go through my detoxification routine. She walks through the door at 10:30 am, one hour after I finished.

"I smell a cigar!" she says from across the room.

Incredulous, I reply, "Where?"

"Outside in the yard!" she exclaims.

One hour after smoking outside on a windy day.

I believe she has a future moonlighting as a contraband-seeking dog with US Customs in the future.