Pipe Mud - the Miracle Salvage Compound
Pipe Mud is the real deal even though it's way more dry than mud and not made from pipe. Pipe Mud is kind of like universal plastic wood or spackling for use inside a pipe chamber. Done right it cures to rock-like (if slightly brittle) hardness. It's kinda like limestone. I've never had a mud job fail but, look at it this way - by the time you need mud for a burnout the pipe is probably near toast anyhow. Best case is, you save the pipe. Worst case, maybe the pipe is too far gone for anything but it's free to try. Next to worst case? None. It work like a charm or the pipe is wasted.
Where to use it: in a clay, meer, briar or cob, inside a pipe chamber that has been reamed and cleaned of non-native crud and cake. Get out loose char, if any, and wipe out the bowl with a damp paper towel. Not an all weekend task or for the OCD in you, pipe prep needs about two minutes. Pipe mud can be applied to cracks, fissures, flaws, pits or burnout holes and in most cases it stops the defect from causing any more mischief. It is also ideal for elevating the heel of the chamber in pipes with a high-entry airway. For me this is almost every cob (which I usually gut sooner or later anyhow) and salvation for high airway briars that, as a result, are chronic gurglers.
When to use it: as soon as you see a flaw in the chamber.
How much to use: if you get too liberal with an application on chamber walls you are going to reduce the chamber diameter. In most cases, you don't need much. One cigars-worth of powdered ash in plenty for whatever might be wrong with any one or two pipes. Me, personally, I smoke cobs outdoors and routinely start a burnout sooner or later so when I see a bad spot on in a cob chamber I scrape the heck out of the whole thing and mud it all around - it is better than a new pipe. This is usually when I mud the heel to get it even with the airway, too.
How to apply: rub it firmly into the flaw, heel or entire chamber with you finger or, if necessary, with a pipe tool, nail head or whatever fits into the area where you need to spread and pack. I almost always get by with a Czech pipetool tamper and poker and a little finger. Don't worry about perfection yet, just mash in the least amount you think is needed. After the mud dries and is smoked a few times you can sand it out as needed.
Where to make/apply: in a not-windy place where fine art, white clothing, and the wife's linens, clothing or fabrics are at least a mile away.
How to make: smoke one of your favorite cigars and save the ash or risk being labeled creepy by snitching a handful of ashes at a cigar store. Cigar store guys all look just when you think they won't. Break the ash to finest possible powder in a small, dry container of some sort. A one-liter Coke bottle cap is a tad to small and a 1/4C measuring cup is way too big. Maybe make it on piece of aluminum foil - whatever. With the pipe prepared, add water to the ash in single drops, one at a time, and mix with the pipe tool thingie or a toothpick; continue slowly until the stuff is still quite dry, like Play Dough maybe, and see if it'll ball up between two fingers. If it's still dry but will ball up it's done and ready to apply. If it gets wet (like, "mud" wet) it's useless - it'll not become hard. Best to keep half the ash aside as you can always add some to the mix if you over-wet it. Some folks swear by pipe ash, others recommend cig ash or ground up fish-filter activated charcoal; some like to mix it with honey (I tried honey once and I am already clumsy- what a freaking mess that was) and another stands by wetting with Grape jelly, Welches or generic. Whatever. All I know for sure is cigar ash plus tiny amounts of water or spit are simple. No trips to the pet store. No trips to grocery store. No messing up the pantry.
How to cure and finish: do not try to fix rough spots of bad shaping. Let the mud dry thoroughly - 24 hours at least - then smoke a light load, remove the ash carefully and smoke another. Probably ribbon cut is better than flake right off the bat so the fresh mud isn't abused. I smoke a few easy bowls and call it done. After it is smoked hard a couple of times you can gently file- or sand out rough spots and irregular shaping if necessary. Thereafter, smoke it as ard as you dare.
The official recipe and procedure is recorded elsewhere by fred/seattlepipeclub who claims to have invented pipe mud. I am sure he did and it has served me well through many pipe traumas. Thank you, Fred, and I hope you find my paraphrase of the concoction acceptable.
