Back by Popular Demand: Tobias' Po' Boy Masochist Extravaganza

[Tobias Lutz]

9. Don Smith Series Dee This was a 7” Churchill from the Po Boy II sampler. Slightly darker wrapper than most of the others in this set. It was firmly packed and the foot appeared completely filled. There were a couple thick, short veins and a the cap was questionable just like on the F.o.G. I smoked yesterday. It was cut unevenly and seemed to barely cover the head of the cigar. There was a ½” crack from the cap down the wrapper and a knick where a small piece of the wrapper was gone exposing the binder near the foot. The draw was very tight- almost to the stick’s detriment. On a side note- the band was amusingly long, wrapping almost completely around itself where it overlapped.

The stick began with an aged wood flavor. Sort of reminded me of an aging barrel used for alcohol. About a third of the way in I tasted pleather. That’s right, pleather. Plastic leather. Tasted like leather, but had nuances of “new plastic” to it, like when you open a cooler for the first time after buying it. Very strange, but only moderately repulsive. This went away at the halfway point and then the cigar was really quite boring the rest of the way. It did have a surprising creaminess to its passé mild tobacco flavor which made it more enjoyable.

The single best part of the cigar: The creaminess of the smoke in the second half of the cigar.
The single worst part of the cigar: Pleather. It was like having Freddy Mercury’s pants shoved in my mouth. Fortunately it was over quickly.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.5 (The burn was decent, the flavors didn’t make me sick, nor was it wasn’t squishy and under-filled.)

[Tobias Lutz]

19. Sacuba Cigars
This was an 8” from sampler #3 . It had a darker brown wrapper without any obvious construction issues. No large veins, nicks, or wrinkles. It felt a little on the soft side but the foot was moderately full. The cigar smelled “old”. By this I mean like a stack of dusty hardcover books that have been sitting around for quite a while. The cap cracked slightly when it was punched, but the draw was fairly tight. There was a slight hint of sweetness but no real taste to speak of.

The cigar began with a pleasant medium bodied profile that was devoid of any pronounced flavor. After an inch or so I began to pick up a moderately strong wood flavor but alas it never garnered much traction and it disappeared fairly quickly. Similar to a few other sticks so far in this experiment, this cigar was basically a one trick pony through the long haul. Nothing really came alive taste wise to catch my attention down to the nub. It burned well, never requiring correction. This was a very milquetoast smoke that had me questioning whether I like some of the horrible cigars more if for no other reason than they entertained me when I smoked them. This lust laid there like an inflatable friend that can’t requite your interest.

The single best part of the cigar: The medium profile was a nice change of pace from some of the very mild cigars in the sampler.
The single worst part of the cigar: The way it never really tasted like much of anything (except for the 5 puffs where it tasted woody in the early going)
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.3 (I can’t complain about the way it smoked or the flavors (because it didn’t have any! This would be a good smoke if you ever lose your sense of taste with a cold.)

[Tobias Lutz]

28. Joya del Jefe
Back with another 7” wonder from the Po Boy II. It had a light wrapper with small veins all the way down its length. It had an even fill and a pretty solid looking foot. The cap was great and it didn’t have any knicks or splits in it. I punched it and was really surprised to find out loose the draw was for a cigar that felt so firm. There weren’t any notable flavors on the cold draw, but it did have a faint sweetness about it. I don’t know if I’ve just become desensitized to crap, but this cigar looked pretty nice to me. {hangsheadinshameforsayingthatoutloud}

This one began with much promise and similar to my aspirations in life, spiraled downward until it reached the equivalent of “sad man writing online reviews of crappy cigars for free” It had a medium body and wisps of cedar came through early in the stick. The burn was good and it produced a very nice quantity of smoke (not like a Papa Fritas, but getting there.) There was a bit of spice in the retrohale but nothing overwhelming. Towards the second third of the stick I got the taste of black walnuts (particularly the mild bitterness), and then a fragrant taste like black walnuts in a 1-800-FLOWERS arrangement. Alas however, it had peaked. Before too long it tasted like nothing more than an old wet shoe and before I could get into the final third the wrapper began to unfurl and attempted to shed itself when I ashed out the car window. It tried so hard- close…but no cigar.

The single best part of the cigar: The amount of smoke was a pleasant chage as most Po Boys have been stingy in that regard.
The single worst part of the cigar: The flavor that seemed like someone dug up a pair of Voits that I was wearing back in the early 90s, dipped them in the tub and shoved them into my mouth.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 5.3 (Not only did the flavor turn on me like a lady of the night when she realizes you were going to try and pay with your debit card, but then the stick just feel apart in my hand)