ATTENTION: CB Pipe Tobacco Review Bombing Run Version 2.0

[NeverBend]

I am intimately acquainted with NSB. We wouldn't have news in these parts if it wasn't for those guys.

Jim,

Some news that you may not have heard yet is that my mother-in-law lives in New Smyrna Beach so please, if you must go there, bring garlic, crosses, a wooden stake (a steak too) and a mallet because I'm not convinced that she's not a vampire and she certainly seems to be undead!!

[GWBowman]

• Don't thank me unless there's cash in you package.

Double Lutz with a Loop

Based on a previous statement by our sponsor, I will not go on about how gracious and generous he was (very). There will be no mention of how much I have enjoyed this (greatly), or how appreciative I am for having been given this opportunity (extremely).

[Tobias Lutz]

Based on a previous statement by our sponsor, I will not go on about how gracious and generous he was (very). There will be no mention of how much I have enjoyed this (greatly), or how appreciative I am for having been given this opportunity (extremely).

He sent cash, didn't he?

[Lostmason]

Is there a limit on entrants?If not can I play too?

1. Alligator Gar
2. JustTroItIn
3. Branzig
4. Tobias Lutz
5. LandonColby
6. Lostmason

[bluenoser]

If you'll include us north of the border I'll play

1. Alligator Gar
2. JustTroItIn
3. Branzig
4. Tobias Lutz
5. LandonColby
6. Lostmason
7. Bluenoser

[NeverBend]

If you'll include us north of the border I'll play

1. Alligator Gar
2. JustTroItIn
3. Branzig
4. Tobias Lutz
5. LandonColby
6. Lostmason
7. Bluenoser

As mentioned Bluenoser,I'll try. Where are you in Canada?

I'll set a cap at 15 for the moment but may be able to do more.

[bluenoser]

As mentioned Bluenoser,I'll try. Where are you in Canada?

I'll set a cap at 15 for the moment but may be able to do more.

I'm in southern Saskatchewan.

[NeverBend]

I'm in southern Saskatchewan.

Too far to walk, we'll have to put it onto the hands of the US and Canadian Postal Services. Any problems, we call out the Mounties.

[bluenoser]

Too far to walk, we'll have to put it onto the hands of the US and Canadian Postal Services. Any problems, we call out the Mounties.

[NeverBend]

The LUTZ Contest:
There are now 20 slots available and I've added some prizes.
Please read through my BS for details (my way of getting you to read the whole thing).
Pictures of the prizes will follow in this thread in separate posts..

Once all the reviews for the blind test are in, I will judge the winners based on how closely the review expresses my experience with that tobacco or for any reason I wish, like literary merit or sweeping epic BS. My choice but I solicit opinions that I may ignore :hiccup:.

First Prize: Barling #5579 canadian from ~1966.
Second: Barling Londoner 1/8th bent pot from ~1970.

Contest within a Contest:
Pipe smokers all have tales that help express their passion for this endeavor. While we're waiting (actually - you're waiting) I thought an entertaining contest might be in order.

Tell a story about pipe smoking. It can be humorous, sad or whatever as long as you were a participant or witness. I invite anyone and everyone to share a tale.

“Acts have their being in the witness. Without him who can speak of it? In the end one could even say that the act is nothing, the witness all.” (Cormac McCarthy, The Crossing).

Next Tuesday we'll poll this thread and vote on the best story and the winning author will receive a briar pipe with the tobacco that I send to you. No plagerism please . In the event that a winner isn't apparent from public voting @TobiasLutz and I will select the winner. All sales are final. No returns or refunds. No whining.
First Prize: Barling #5574 canadian from ~1966. From the same collection as the #5579 above, bit shorter but virtually the same pipe.
The Catch:
Yes, you have to be on the nominations list to win this prize. In other words, I won't send the pipe out by itself, so if you haven't already, sign up for the sample and start writing! In the event that someone who is not on the nominations list wins, we'll congratulate you but give the prize to the next best entry. Please number your stories (sequentially) to help avoid confusion. I confuse easily.

The Prizes:
All of these pipes are in good to excellent condition. Some knot-head lightly sanded the rims of the Barlings but the pipes are solid. I will professionally (no snickering) ream the pipes before sending but you'll have to clean/restore to your standards (ebBay speak). Please post pics when you're finished and make me wish I kept this trio. Failure to post pics will insure that you're navel fills with lint. If you have an 'outy', you can ignore the last line.

I am called NeverBend for several reasons, not the least of which is that this 1/8th bent Londoner is, to me, like an Oom-Paul to you (just thought I'd mention this). Should one of our foreign friends, (not USA) win, we'll try to work something out but please write a story.

Tobias and I can (and I will) enter the story contest and Tobias is eligible to win but he can't receive the (story) prize. (Sorry Tobias, I'll try to make i up to you by harassing @Banzig until he sends you one of his prized CustomBilts). If you vote for me to win the contest I will lose all respect for you as I already have for myself. OK, I'll write about cigars to disqualify myself so no sympathy votes for me.

Write men, write!