I tried to sneak up on myself with it.



That was a bust. Maybe tomorrow night. In the mean time, here is the 60 radio ad we'll be starting July first.

Mixture No. 79 Radio Ad

Has the man of the house been coming home a little, let’s say, grumpy-umpy-umpy?
(background: door slam “frickin frackin smitten smatten”)
Buy him a gift that will pay dividends to you. A new pipe and a tub of Mixture No. 79 Pipe Tobacco. Not only is the act of smoking a pipe relaxing, (“ahh”) but it’s medically proven that nicotine counteracts some of the effects of caffeine. (sigh of relief) You know, that evening cup of coffee from the pot made this morning. Let’s face it. Eight O’Clock is a brand, not a vintage. (“yuck”)

But wait. There’s more!

The smell of Mixture No. 79 will bring back memories of his saintly mother, and the flowery “old woman” perfume she always wore. (“Mom” in a relaxing voice) While the taste of Mixture No. 79 will remind him of her threatening to wash out his mouth when he couldn’t control it. (“Don’t want any of that”) Mixture No. 79 will calm him down everytime he smokes it.

So if you want to turn that roaring lion into a neutered* old house cat, get him Mixture No. 79 today!

Announcer should read the following fast in a low voice;
*“Warning: While Mixture No. 79 has not been proven to make men impotent and/or sterile YET, if you come to bed smelling of this stuff, it won’t matter.”


I thought about recording it myself. I've been told I have a face for radio.