I'm the 1% magnet for the TSA agents who can't read and or don't care. When flying to a HERF I'll ship my cigars and lighters ahead of time to save hassles. I've been in the back rooms for searches enough times to not even bother worrying anymore about what will happen "this time" while the TSA is looking through my carry on. And I've even had MATCHES removed from my checked luggage with a letter inserted telling me I didn't need that many, so the excess books/boxes were removed.
I will let YOU fill in the blanks _________ _________ _________