ATTENTION: CB Pipe Tobacco Review Bombing Run Version 2.0

[GWBowman]

I forgot to note strong when I pm'd my addy to Tobias.

[NeverBend]

The Barling Londoner Pot is broken. My fault. It's the first pipe I've ever dropped and broken. I was carrying it outside to ream and clean it when my hand spasmed and the tenon snapped when it hit the floor.

Therefore, I'm replacing the Londoner 1/8th bent pot with a BB&S Rallye #5579 canadian. It's a Barling made pipe (actually the Londoner is a BB&S too) from ~1970. It's from the same collection as the other two prizes and it's the same shape as the LUTZ first prize.

[BryGuySC]

The Barling Londoner Pot is broken. My fault. It's the first pipe I've ever dropped and broken. I was carrying it outside to ream and clean it when my hand spasmed and the tenon snapped when it hit the floor.

Therefore, I'm replacing the Londoner 1/8th bent pot with a BB&S Rallye #5579 canadian. It's a Barling made pipe (actually the Londoner is a BB&S too) from ~1970. It's from the same collection as the other two prizes and it's the same shape as the LUTZ first prize.

Oh, No! That is always a horrible, slow-motion-inducing event!

[NeverBend]

Oh, No! That is always a horrible, slow-motion-inducing event!

Yes, exactly.

Thanks to all the story posters, they're fabulous! Keep them coming.

Quick tobacconist story to keep the juices flowing.

Story Zero ^ 2 (Zero Squared) Clueless

He was born Bob Clue so you know everyone called him Bob Clueless but not to his face because he was a bear of a man. Sharp dresser and hair always just so, he'd have looked more at home next to Tony Soprano than selling wares to smoke shops.

He spent most of his time brown nosing bigger volume accounts and the smaller ones generally saw him at the RTDA trade show. He wasn't missed.

Even at the RTDA, where he relentlessly sucked on his scotch, he still sucked up to his big accounts and none was bigger than Malcolm Calderon. The RTDA was in New York City as it often was in those days, Malcolm's home town.

"Malcolm, hey, great to see you. When you gonna let me show you how this town really cooks!", Clue bumped his elbow against Malcolm's arm.

"We'll see. How's the show going for you? Doing well?"

Even as they spoke Clue's eyes swept the floor of the main ballroom looking for notable accounts when he stopped and pointed towards a woman sitting cross-legged on a stool.

"Holy Sh*t Malcolm!", Clue gestured towards the woman.

"How'd you like to shimmy up between those legs?"

Malcolm looked at the woman and then at Clue, "I do Bob, every night. That's my wife."

True story told to me by Malcolm. Names were changed.

[NeverBend]

(Story something or other) Wayne never told me if this was before or after Janice 'cleaned' his pipes.

Wayne learned to smoke a pipe from his father, Walter but it wasn't long before he went from the student to critic, often chastising Walter for smoking too fast and too hot.

Their best times together was when they fished on the lake, in the early pre-dawn hours, each smoking their pipe and the water and air were still and there was no sound. It was dead quiet.

Wayne noticed it first, nothing more than a whisper in the dark. For a few minutes he wasn't even sure that he'd heard it but it was there now, like a pulse every few seconds. It was coming from Walter's direction.

"Dad", even his whisper cut into the night, "do you hear that?"

"What!?", Walter boomed.

"Sshh!", Wayne held up a finger that neither of them could see.

"There's a noise coming from behind you dad, do you hear it?"

"No", his father's whisper now faint.

"Okay, it's probably me"

They fished in silence and Wayne tried to scan the water beyond his father each time he heard the noise but it was too dark. "Damn, old man. Get your hearing checked.", he thought. He puffed on the pungent Sobranie and wondered if that was giving away their location, but to whom, or what?

And then the glow appeared, disembodied but close to the sizzle and somewhere near Walter. Wayne's heart seemed to freeze and his eyes fixed on where the glow was or had been because it was moving. It was behind them, Wayne was sure, because it was getting brighter and that mean that it was coming closer and it was getting a a little louder with time that it appeared. The lake was deep, very deep. What could it possibly hold? They'd never heard of any beast, any leviathan that anyone had ever reported seeing but people had gone missing on the lake. Maybe the witnesses had become the entree? "Nonsense! Stop!" he tried to will his mind to another subject. What creature from the deep glowed and sizzled when it was near the surface?

This time the glow was distinct and close to Walter, so close that it reflected off his face.

"Dad!", Wayne's voice snapped sharp and insistent, "It's right next to you!"

In the shimmer he saw his father's face spinning and the light moved violently as if knocked back and in a second it faded and disappeared with pop and a hiss and then there was nothing again. Absolutely nothing.

"Wayne, I don't see a thing, I don't hear a thing.", Walter whispered, "I lost my damn tobacco with you making that scare. I'm going pack another bowl."

Wayne breathed deeply, sighed and responded in a normal voice, "Don't bother dad, you burned out your pipe."

[Tobias Lutz]

1. Alligator Gar
2. JustTroItIn - Strong
3. Branzig- Strong
4. Tobias Lutz
5. LandonColby
6. Lostmason
7. Bluenoser
8. BryBuySC - Strong
9. GWBowman - Strong
10. MrMotoyoshi - Strong
11. Chris0673 - Mild
12. Horsefeathers - Strong
13. cbr310-mild
14. Emperor Zurg

@NeverBend

Just give me 24 hours notice of when you need the address list and I'll close sign-ups and forward it to you.

[NeverBend]

1. Alligator Gar
2. JustTroItIn - Strong
3. Branzig- Strong
4. Tobias Lutz
5. LandonColby
6. Lostmason
7. Bluenoser
8. BryBuySC - Strong
9. GWBowman - Strong
10. MrMotoyoshi - Strong
11. Chris0673 - Mild
12. Horsefeathers - Strong
13. cbr310-mild
14. Emperor Zurg

@NeverBend

Just give me 24 hours notice of when you need the address list and I'll close sign-ups and forward it to you.

Hi Tobias,

Why don't we close the nominations on Tuesday.

If it's OK I'd like to move up the story deadline to Sunday at 6pm and vote it later that evening. This way I can include the prize in the package.

As long as I can get to the Post Office I should be mailing by Thursday at the latest.

Anyone not cool with the above? NOMS end Tuesday, STORY ends Sunday.

[MrMotoyoshi]

1. Alligator Gar
2. JustTroItIn
3. Branzig- Strong
4. Tobias Lutz
5. LandonColby
6. Lostmason
7. Bluenoser
8. BryBuySC
9. GWBowman
10. MrMotoyoshi- Strong

[GWBowman]

1. Alligator Gar
2. JustTroItIn
3. Branzig- Strong
4. Tobias Lutz
5. LandonColby
6. Lostmason
7. Bluenoser
8. BryBuySC
9. GWBowman- Strong
10. MrMotoyoshi- Strong

[NeverBend]

1. Alligator Gar
2. JustTroItIn
3. Branzig- Strong
4. Tobias Lutz
5. LandonColby
6. Lostmason
7. Bluenoser
8. BryBuySC
9. GWBowman- Strong
10. MrMotoyoshi- Strong

I hope that you He-Men realize that strong to Peter Stokkebye is mild to Mr. Hoggarth. GW strong is respirator stuff and I might need a signed release!