Quote Originally Posted by BryGuySC View Post
Oh, No! That is always a horrible, slow-motion-inducing event!
Yes, exactly.

Thanks to all the story posters, they're fabulous! Keep them coming.

Quick tobacconist story to keep the juices flowing.

Story Zero ^ 2 (Zero Squared) Clueless

He was born Bob Clue so you know everyone called him Bob Clueless but not to his face because he was a bear of a man. Sharp dresser and hair always just so, he'd have looked more at home next to Tony Soprano than selling wares to smoke shops.

He spent most of his time brown nosing bigger volume accounts and the smaller ones generally saw him at the RTDA trade show. He wasn't missed.

Even at the RTDA, where he relentlessly sucked on his scotch, he still sucked up to his big accounts and none was bigger than Malcolm Calderon. The RTDA was in New York City as it often was in those days, Malcolm's home town.

"Malcolm, hey, great to see you. When you gonna let me show you how this town really cooks!", Clue bumped his elbow against Malcolm's arm.

"We'll see. How's the show going for you? Doing well?"

Even as they spoke Clue's eyes swept the floor of the main ballroom looking for notable accounts when he stopped and pointed towards a woman sitting cross-legged on a stool.

"Holy Sh*t Malcolm!", Clue gestured towards the woman.

"How'd you like to shimmy up between those legs?"

Malcolm looked at the woman and then at Clue, "I do Bob, every night. That's my wife."

True story told to me by Malcolm. Names were changed.