Back by Popular Demand: Tobias' Po' Boy Masochist Extravaganza

[Tobias Lutz]

23. Scorned Woman
NOTE- So I realized yesterday that in my inattention to detail I posted two #19s and two #22s , so today we are back on track with a legitimate #23 ! Only 7 more days to go

The name of this 8” Churchill amused me. Unfortunately it isn’t available to purchase outside the Po Boy III, otherwise it would be a great gift for a woman to buy her husband after he’s caught with his secretary. If it was anything like the Stogies Gold Leaf it would serve as punishment enough. The wrapper was light brown with numerous veins but no visible damage. There were a couple spots however where it was lifting up and the cap didn’t appear to be affixed very well. The fill felt pretty solid, even though the foot was not entirely full. It did have a wonderful tobacco scent. Mild, sweet, and with a faint hint of chocolate. The draw was reasonable with a pretty unimpressive flavor, especially after having enjoyed the foot odor
This one had a nice mild start that paired well with my morning coffee. All of the flavors in the stick seemed to come out within the first few inches. After that, while the flavor remained pleasant, it became very one dimensional and passé. One of the most notable tastes was something like a buttery chocolate chip cookie, but without the chocolate chips- just that mildly sweet, slightly oily dough taste. There was another section that was reminiscent of hazelnuts. The rest of the cigar was plain jane mild cheap stock. The burn was fairly good throughout. It went askew a few times but it fixed itself without my intervention.

The single best part of the cigar: The cookie taste was pretty cool.
The single worst part of the cigar: The way the cap flaked early and stuck out to annoy my lips for the rest of the smoke.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.4 (perhaps this is because I’m coming off a couple bad ones, but this cigar was a nice mild option)

[Tobias Lutz]

4. Stogies

This was an 8” from the PB III. It had some wrinkles in the wrapper and a ½” long split a little bit above the foot. There were a couple large veins and over all it had a very spongy feeling, though there were a few solid spots. I punched it and it gave a very loose draw. The wrapper itself began to unfurl two minutes into the smoke. I unwrapped it completely, exposing the binder and then rerolled the wrapper leaf, sealing it with spit in order to make it serviceable. This worked for about 4” of the cigar but then it began to fall apart and I had no choice but to put it out. In spite of the issues with the wrapper, as long as it held together this cigar gave a sharp and perfectly straight burn. Go figure.

It was actually disappointing that the construction was so bad on this one. It had some interesting flavors, some less pleasant than others but not completely repugnant. The first thing that came out was a taste that reminded me of the charred crust you get on the outside of your marshmallow when roasting it on the campfire. This eventually went away and was replaced by a flavor like weak coffee with hazelnut creamer in it. At one point immediately before the whole thing self-destructed it turned very sweet and sugary, almost like a Kuba Kuba.

Single best part of the cigar: Was the scorched marshmallow flavor at the beginning of the stick.

Single worst part of the cigar: I have never seen a cigar that was so poorly made. Were it not the sake of trying to review this stick I would have tossed it in the trash can 5 or 6 puffs in when the wrapper came completely off.

An overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 1.0 (If it doesn’t stay together for you to smoke it, any positive qualities a cigar may have are rendered moot.)

[Tobias Lutz]

14. Duque

This is what the website says about this fine 7” stick from the Po Boy II sampler…”Duque is mild in body and it sure beats a sharp stick in the eye. Pronounced ‘du-kay’.” For starters I’m glad they cleared up the pronunciation, though it is still too close to dookie for my comfort. Second, I don’t believe I’ve ever smoke a cigar that didn’t beat “a sharp stick in the eye”, so that doesn’t elicit much confidence from me either. The MSRP on these fine cigars is $200 for a bundle of 50, but you won’t pay that- no sir, you’ll only pay .99 per churchill for these beauties. Mine was inconsistently filled, soft down the length of the cigar with what appeared to be a filled foot. There was no visible damage to the wrapper and the cap stayed intact after punching it. The draw was pretty loose and tasted a little stale/bland.

This cigar gave off A LOT of smoke. I’m talking about LP smoke levels which I enjoyed very much. The flavors began as being woody and fairly mild. After a couple inches it shifted to something more like a toasted pita. Hardly a heavy profile, but actually pretty pleasant. The cigar eventually moved back to its woody beginnings, this time with a distinct taste of cedar. As has been the tendency with these .99 sticks, it unfortunately was unable to maintain its stellar performance all the way to the finish line. It morphed to something like an oily shop-rag which really was not doing it for me.

The single best part of the cigar: The amount of smoke it gave off was beautiful
The single worst part of the cigar: The final taste that it left in my mouth was disappointing and made me feel like the cigar had been carried around in my mechanics back pocket for several days.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.7 (good burn, lots of smoke, taste was so close…but no cigar )

[Tobias Lutz]

24. Victor Sinclair Connecticut

Still in an 8” state of mind I plucked this one out the cooler because of how unique the wrapper color was. It was ugly on several levels, but mostly the wrapper had an overly yellowish shade for a Connecticut, as if the tobacco leaf had developed cirrhosis of the liver. There were wrinkles, precarious veins, and the cap looked as if my son had attached it with a glue stick. The cigar did feel firm all the way down its length. The band looked more like a coat of arms, and the foot smelled like plain ol’ cigar tobacco. The draw was very close to perfect- neither too tight, nor too loose. It tasted of light tobacco with a slightly woody tone.
This was a very mild stick, but even early on I discovered it had enough spice to make the back of my throat tickle a little bit. There was very little in the way of discernible flavors through the first half of the stick. There were however a few issues with the burn. No real tunneling, but the burn went askew close to an inch at one point when I stepped in with a torch to correct it. When it was finally going even I began picking up on a taste like burning notebook paper that eventually became woodier. The worst was near the end when every exhalation of smoke left a shellac like aftertaste in my mouth.

The single best part of the cigar: Hmmm. I guess I’ll go with the way it was packed fully with tobacco. I definitely got my .99 worth here
The single worst part of the cigar: Where to begin? The taste, or the appearance, or the burn? Pick one.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 5.3 (I have smoke sticks that were worse in each area of evaluation, but this one managed to suck in a balanced, across the board way.)

[Tobias Lutz]

5. Ron Mexico

I should preface by saying that I really wanted this one to be decent. For all the crap this cigar takes- being the butt of so many jokes, I hoped it would be a diamond in the rough. That said, I think I was still objective.

This was one of the 7” churchills from the Po Boy II. It was firmly packed and the foot appeared full. There were some wrinkles and veins in the wrapper but nothing too bad. There was a ¾” crack from the head down the length of the cigar which proved to be inconsequential. It smelled pretty tasty out of the drybox compared to some of the others I’ve smoked so far. I punched it and the cold draw was pretty tight but I didn’t taste anything repulsive. It burned true all the way down with zero touch-ups.

The cigar started off with just a basic mild tobacco flavor, nothing notable. There was zero sweetness and at some points the flavor actually bordered on astringent, but it was never so bad as to make me want to put it out. Toward the middle it developed a tangy (not twangy mind you) profile that at once tasted interesting and cheap. Like a bottle of Bud Light Lime. The cigar really began to fail taste wise when I got further down and it started to give hints of gasoline in the retrohale. This was just downright unpleasant.

Single best part of the cigar: Was the construction. I’ve had $5-6 dollar smokes that weren’t rolled this well.

Single worst part of the cigar: The petrol taste in the ending parts of the stick was simply gross.

An overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.0 (Yes, the last flavor profile was bad, but this stick was made much better than I expected any of the Po Boys to be.)

[Tobias Lutz]

15. Don Brotto Seleccion Privada

This was from the Po Boy III selection and in turn was an 8” Churchill that is not available for individual purchase. The light wrapper had a couple small wrinkles and minimal veins. It was filled well and had a bountiful foot. There was no visible damage, but the cap did split some when I punch it. The cold draw was incredibly tight. Too tight to smoke, so I used a toothpick to improve the draw a little before lighting.

My first observation was the lack of smoke associated with this stick. It just didn’t produce much, and what it did offer was extremely mild. After an inch or so we got going and the flavors also became more interesting. The first was something similar to pine shavings (like you would put in a hamster’s cage). This began to give way to a more floral taste that wasn’t overwhelming and was pretty pleasant. Along the way I also noticed that the ash hung very tight to this cigar. Even sticking it out the window at 75mph wasn’t enough to knock it off until it was over an inch long. Close to halfway through the stick the smoke really began to pick up and the cigar ended quite nicely.

The single best part of the cigar: Was the flavor. It was pretty mild, but stayed interesting.
The single worst part of the cigar: The tight draw and how long it took to really get the smoke going.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 8/10 (If the fill had been less tight this could have gone as high as an 8.5)

[Tobias Lutz]

6. Fidalgo Negro

This is a 7” stick from Po Boy II. It had some very large veins and was generally pretty rough looking. There were not any cracks or splits in the wrapper (a first in this experiment). There were some soft spots in the filling, but the foot appeared consistent. Once punched the draw was fairly loose and had an underwhelming flavor.

It began with a decent pungent start. There wasn’t exactly much depth to the flavor, but it was consistent with that of tobacco and profile was mild-medium. As the stick progressed it assumed a wet hay taste that wasn’t all that bad. Next thing I know I look down and I’m halfway through a Churchill without saying anything negative. Gasp!... Of course I spoke too soon because within a couple minutes I had to correct a burn that had gone ½” astray. Nonetheless, the flavor remained decent, if unexciting through the nub of the cigar. I thought it might possibly venture into a completely medium profile (unlike the other bargain sticks so far), but alas it never quite made it there.

Single best part of the cigar: It never offered an unpleasant flavor. Unexciting, but never unpleasant.

Single worst part of the cigar: The burn went to hell after the first half and needed to be touched-up three times.

An overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.2 (The first stick where my tongue can’t cite a legitimate reason to trash it as a yard-gar.

[Tobias Lutz]

16. Hesitant Pirate

This is a 7” from the Po Boy II selection and can be purchased in bundles of twenty for $19.99. This cigar got bonus points right of the bat for being one of the coolest bands in this .99 sideshow circus. It may be the best because when you remove the band under the overlap I found a red X which served to turn it into a freakin’ treasure map! The construction was solid with a good fill of tobacco. The wrapper was a lighter shade of brown with no visible damage and the foot was full. The cap did crack slightly when I punched it but this proved to be a non-issue. The cold draw was firm with a slight nuttiness.

I wanted to judge this cigar by its band but the flavors when I smoked it were a mixed bag. It is very mild and started off with a bit of sweetness. However, I noticed before too long that I was getting an aftertaste of ash and fabric softener. About halfway through I found a bit of tanginess sitting in the back of my throat. There was a bright sport where I thought I tasted some cedar in the retrohale, which proved to be the most interesting part of the cigar. In the end it began to simply taste like a watered down dirty ashtray. It’s a good thing I didn’t put any money of this horse for her looks because I would have ended up shooting her before she made it out of the 3rd turn.

The single best part of the cigar: Was the band! I would have this thing tattoo on me if I had some free space.
The single worst part of the cigar: Tasting like I put a cigar out in a pitcher of cheap bear and then drank it.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 5.8 (Like when the question and answer round of the Miss America Pageant teaches us…you can be pretty on the outside and yet still devoid of quality tastes.

[Tobias Lutz]

25. Victory
This was an 8” from the Po Boy III basket. The band was pretty interesting; gold and black with an statuesque image that looked like something you would see over the archway leading into an Art Deco period municipal building or library. The wrapper was medium brown with lots of wrinkles near the foot. It was pretty soft throughout and appeared only moderately full on the end. The cap appeared to be applied pretty well compared to what I’ve seen lately. There was only one very hard vein on the backside of the smoke. The cap cracked slightly when it was punched and the cigar had an incredibly loose draw. The flavor was nutty and reminiscent of black tea.
This stick started off quite well. In fact I actually said the word “Wow!”, out loud to myself as I drove down the highway puffing on it. It was woody, with a mild to medium profile. Not that stout, but generally it had more oomph than most of the Po Boys. There was a little bit of spice that I wouldn’t categorize as “peppery”, but more “zesty” with a slightly acidic overtone. The most interesting part was about halfway through when I swore I picked up on a faint mint flavor. Very much like snapping off some fresh spearmint from the garden. There were a couple issues to cite however (of course)… The burn was generally good, but it tunneled when it hit the “knottier” parts of the stick. I think the rest was so loosely filled that it settled down to a lower Rh quicker. Secondly, the cracked cap began to shed into my mouth about a third of the way through.

The single best part of the cigar: The minty freshness. It was like rolling some Winterfresh gum into my cigar.
The single worst part of the cigar: The construction was the struggle with this stick, particularly the cap.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.2 (The flavor was good enough to boost the score. I think if I had cut, rather than punched this might have made it into the 8s)

[Tobias Lutz]

7. Don Rafael by Victor Sinclair

This was a 7” cigar from the Po Boy II selection that is allegedly all long filler. There were several veins in the wrapper leaf and it was “lifting up” in a couple spots. There were two separate ½” splits right against the cap on opposite sides of the cigar. This was a pretty firmly packed stick with a foot that appeared full. The draw was pretty tight but not overly so.

It began with a woody flavor that was ‘bright” tasting. Unfortunately the cigar had horrible burn from the get go. I touched it up several times and still at one point looked down to see the an ash silhouette of Florida burning down one side of the wrapper. The best flavors actually came out in the 2nd half of the stick. The smoke became more voluminous and took a slightly stronger profile (still mild-medium) while giving off a very faint hint of pepper. Toward the very end I got the taste of moist soil which rounded it off nicely.

The single best part of the cigar: Was the pseudo-dynamic flavor. It changed a couple times and held my interest.

The single worst part of the cigar: Was the construction. There were a couple issues with the wrapper as well as all the burn problems.

Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.9 (The flavors were good, but the burn was more than annoying. Another stick that had potential, but fell short of being decent across the board.)