Back by Popular Demand: Tobias' Po' Boy Masochist Extravaganza

[Tobias Lutz]

10. Victor Sinclair This was a 7” stick from the Po Boy II selection. The wrapper was much light than they have been coming lately so that was a little change of pace. Beyond the color it looked like Frankenstein’s cigar. The wrapper was wrinkled in several places with odd folds near the head. The cap looked as if it were torn from the leaf and gluesticked haphazardly on. It looked as if a first-timer rolled this one. It was soft with fill gaps that could be felt through the wrapper. I could easily use my thumb and forefinger to form it into a box-press shape.

When I punched the cigar the head split about ½” down the side. The draw was surprisingly tight and I discovered that was from a knot of tobacco under the band. The intial light was spicy and peppery. I was kind of surprised to get such a profile right off the bat. It settled down rather quickly into a kind of woody taste. The burn was horrible, sometimes going almost an inch astray before I would give in and correct it. The stick did have a nice earthiness that was void of the chemical overtones I have been picking up in other Po Boy cigars. Near the end of the stick the cap actually came off in my mouth and I said “to hell with it” and chucked it onto the interstate.

The single best part of the cigar: The flavor. It really wasn’t too bad and it was quite good at the very beginning.
The single worst part of the cigar: The burn. It was as queer as a football bat and never recovered on its own.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 5.8 (This was a book that I should have judged by its cover.)

[Tobias Lutz]

20. Bandolera Wanted
This was an interesting looking 8” stick from the Po Boy III set that had an angry looking Mexican gentleman, sombrero and all smoking a cigar on the band. It had a darker wrapper with quite a few small veins, but no construction issues. It was nicely rolled without any soft spots. The foot was completely full and the cap blended well into the body of the cigar. I punched it and it had a decent draw with a mellow profile like fresh baked bread.
This stick was surprisingly abrasive from the first couple puffs. It was definitely a medium profile stick, but without any finesse in how it delivered itself. The flavors were a bit acrid and unpleasant. I’m not opposed to peppery cigars, but I like the pepper flavor to be “clean” and defined. This vacillated between woody, peppery, and some other strong tastes that I had a hard time defining, but without marrying them together. It was like the crude brute force of a street brawl as opposed to the artistry of a well trained boxer in the ring. Both are examples of violence, but one is by far more palatable because it is orchestrated well. In the end, the entire cigar smoked like a nub (not the brand, but the portion of a stick). It seemed to be a jumbled collective that never hit on much of anything.

The single best part of the cigar: Construction. Nice looking, great burn.
The single worst part of the cigar: The horrible blending, though I would be somewhat interested to see what it tasted like with a year on it.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 5.9 (Words like crude, offensive, and unrefined come immediately to mind with I think of the flavors.

[Tobias Lutz]

29. Oxmoor Smoke Shoppe
This was an 8” Churchill with long filler and a downright ugly wrapper. It seemed as if the wrapper leaf actually changed colors as it went down the length of the cigar. Near the head it was a medium brown and this transformed to a light brown by the time you reached the foot. There were several large veins, wrinkles, and some lifting up in a couple areas, so the cracked foot almost went unnoticed The fill was moderately soft but not squishy. It smelled like a cheap cigar. By this I mean there was no distinct essence- just mild tobacco that screamed “Don’t be disappointed, I was only .99”. The draw was somewhat stiff and as devoid of flavor as the foot was absent of scent.

As a smoking experience, this one achieved something no other cigar had ever done for me. Not to make it sound like it was something mind-blowing, but it was novel nonetheless…This stick tasted exactly the same from the first puff to the last puff! Literally, from the first to the last. I’ve had cigars that were one dimensional and uninteresting (of which this is one), but never have I had on that didn’t “settle down” and change some after the initial light, or morph to some degree once I reached the nub. This stick was immutable. If the flavor had been wonderful than this could have been the greatest cigar in the history of rolled up leaf…But it wasn’t. It was a mixture of light grassy notes and faint woodiness. Generally, just a run of the mill mild smoke. The taste I will soon forget, but the feat of boredom inducement I shall carry with me all the days of my life.

The single best part of the cigar: Was its fantastic ability to do nothing as I smoked it.
The single worst part of the cigar: Was the way it looked like Frankenstein and the Bearded Lady’s lovechild.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.8 (It didn’t taste bad to start and it never turned bad, because it never turned anything. An even burn, tasty enough yard ‘gar.)